A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Decorum

 Entry 1    12:42

When Jenny first got sick, my niece had a man come over to clean our home.  We have used him ever since. Jonny, our house cleaner (he does great work if you ever need such help), and I chit chat when he is here.  Today, as he was finishing up and putting his coat on he said, "I now have to go up to 192nd and Aurora to clean Eric's house."

I swear to God this happened.  I swear. 

I looked at him with gimlet eyes. I asked, "In Shoreline?" It is. I said, I have a friend in Shoreline who is named Eric. Is he tall?  Yes, he is tall. Is he black? Yes, he is black. Is he bald? Yes, Jonny told me he is bald. Is he a teacher? Jonny thought so. I got out Facebook and showed him Eric's picture. "Yes, that is him," Jonny said. 

So, I told Jonny that this man, who I refer to as el pinché motherfucker, has been having an affair with my wife since at least 2018. Jonny was shocked. He was blown away. He was aghast. He said he was going to stop cleaning this man's house. I told him he didn't need to do that. He needs the money, so keep doing it. I was so floored, I can't begin to tell you how long I laughed at the ridiculousness of all of this.

Why does this feel like such a violation? Also, it's a dick move, like they thought they were getting something over on me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Life, A Cascading Series of Disappointment

Image
Jenny has cancer.  Terminal cancer.  We learned that in late July. Jenny had  dropped 25 lbs. in the spring without trying.  She had been having vague stomach complaints since October.  As a balm for her concerns, her doctor agreed to do a CT scan for her, but told her they would find nothing.  Jenny wanted to rule out pancreatic cancer, which had recently killed her dad-in the spring of 2019.  Her mother had been sick with lymphoma since February 2020.  The day of the scan, the doctor told Jenny they would get results back in a few days. When Jenny's phone rang that same afternoon, I was in the living room with Abby, where I was torturing her by playing the Rapping Duke on Youtube. Jenny shouted from the room, "Geoff, get in here, the doctor's on the phone." "You have a four cm. mass on your pancreas,"  he said. Jenny made a sound like someone had punched her in the stomach.  "There is a spot on your liver. You have a necrotic lymph nod...
Read more

Still Muddling Through Somehow

Image
At the park, I walked my dog through the rain this morning— not really proper rain— more like air that has decided to shrug water at you out of habit. It suited my mood well enough. As I walked, my thoughts kept returning to the same small universe they often do. They are not new thoughts. They orbit the same losses. They consider the same betrayals, the same questions that never resolve. They have been captured, these thoughts, never to escape, never to be forgotten, never to burn up in the atmosphere. It is simply the gravitational field of my life now. What might seem or feel like self-pity is more like muscle memory, which tells me I need more exercise. The holidays are here, and Christmas has always been central to my life, atheist that I am. It was stitched into Jenny’s life — the love of Christmas — at least as strongly as it was stitched into mine. We carried that love forward with the kids, year after year, without ever needing to talk about why it mattered; it just did. I...
Read more

Don't Do It, Don't Do It, Oh, Lord

Image
It Hurts, It Hurts So Bad.  .  . 3:44 a.m. I walked in the door last night at just before 10 to find Jenny in a ball on the floor--between the giant ottoman and sectional--agonizing pain in her hip. I had ridden to acting with the student driver.  But, let's back up. Jenny had chemo yesterday.  Her friend Jennifer took her.  It was uneventful and she received chemo.  I, as always, prepared the house for her arrival to make sure she wanted for nothing and would be comfortable as she endures the aftermath of all that poison.  Sometime before she came home, she texted, saying the doctor suggested she try Aleve for her hip pain.  Aleve.   She asked me to pick some up for her while Abby was at acting.   During the text exchange I realized she would be alone after Abby and I left for acting.  Leiney was elsewhere and had therapy at 5 and kickboxing later, and her sister Moni had bailed on chemo because she had so much to do (Wit...
Read more