kvetching up

 Entry 1   2:22 p.m. It's true . But I am getting in front of the story.   This afternoon we met at the UW Liver Center.  We parked in the Triangle, and it brought forth memories of the days my mother struggled against death in futility -30 days seemed so long and it wasso many years ago now.  It made me nauseous, as if this was day 31 of my mom dying, instead of a meeting for Jenny.  I steeled myself.  The Liver Center is located in the surgical center complex with its massive atrium covered waiting area. It has huge windows in various sizes of rectangles and squares to brighten the room with the sun, but they did nothing to lighten the mood as we waited. After being led to the room by an M.A. at 12 on the dot, we sat and worked on a crossword puzzle together.  Jenny, since leaving home, was almost sick with nerves.  We finished the crossword puzzle, and she took my arm and told me she was scared.  I was scared too, because I ...

Defensiveness keeps individuals from accepting responsibility for their actions. If a spouse is defensive, they are justifying their behavior, or blaming their partner for the problem.”  --John Gottman I am much more introspective when I begin putting down words.  At the outset, I want to be clear that our marriage has been far from perfect for a very long time, something we both have and do acknowledge.  A very long time.  Things started heading south on my end back when we began having fights about money, and Jenny would be angry I wasn't making enough, and wanted me to find additional work. Nevermind that I liked the work I did, even if I hated the job.  Nevermind that she worked in a field that paid far less than me, and that her ideas were gender bound. When I would suggest that, perhaps, if she wanted to have more money she should get a different job, she would retort that she was doing work she liked--even though I would often hear she hated to do that p...