kvetching up

  And then the other shoe drops.  .  . Jenny went to Jennifer Murray's after therapy ended at 1:30.  Murray had another friend over, someone else with stage iv cancer.  When she arrived home, she was, not surprisingly given how the day has been going, morose.  She rushed to her bedroom and threw herself on her bed, sobbing.  Not unusual.  Happens weekly.  I have no answer to this.  I do my best to first give her distance, and then give her comfort.  I followed that pattern.     Prone on the bed, she tells me she wishes she were dead now.  What is the point, she asks. "I am just going to die anyway."  She then begins a list of lamentations, of which I am not unfamiliar.  She is completely overwrought as she lists them: She is going to die; there is no point; she gets no affection.  She sleeps in the bed alone.  Exeunt Geoff, who retreats back to the couch. Glum I begin entering the above, and h...

Moni popped by this morning to drop off meds for Jenny that we had sequestered because of her recent suicidal ideation, but that Jenny will need next week, post chemotherapy. Moni is leaving to go to Sun Valley with Chris.  I asked her if she knew that things with  Eric  the pinché motherfucker and Jenny continue apace, as if I had never disclosed anything.  If anything, Jenny seems emboldened, btw. More on that in a moment.  Moni said Jenny had told her that last Thursday.  So, my intuition is much better than it had been.  The suicide was driven, not so much by the chemo, but by the fear she had lost Eric because I told Kandice.   At one this afternoon, Jenny was on a call with a prospective therapist for Abby.  Abby has dumped 4 or 5 therapists over the last year and we desperately want her to have one, what with COVID-19 and distance learning, the loss of both Mic and Bea, Jenny's cancer, and Jenny's long-term and ongoing affair...

Am I a clown? Do I amuse you?     This morning started with several texts from Jenny, a sampling of which I present here: I called her after I received the first text just after 5 a.m.. I asked her to wait to leave. I didn't take her threat too seriously, she had run away the week before and came back. But I didn't laugh her off, and became increasingly worried as the texts continued. I called her again after 6, and after receiving a text listing a few more bills I would need to watch after she was gone. I asked her if she had a plan to hurt herself.  She said yes. I asked her to wait for me to get there before she left. She agreed. Remember, I was only 10 blocks away on top of a steep hill. Outside, I discovered my Jeep lock was frozen shut. I would have to walk--or run actually to get to the house. I had to go change into warmer clothes. I called her, told her my dilemma, and then asked her yet again to wait.  I called and texted both her sisters.  No response...