kvetching up

" (Tick Tock Tick) Doo Doo Doo-Doo "  Friday night. It's lovely and quiet. Willow and I spent a lot of quality time in the yard. She was sniffing at things and occasionally playing with me which entails running at full speed across the yard and back again. She also likes to run between my legs. She either finds it hilarious or  Backyard on 4.3.2026 she knows (and also finds hilarious) the terror I hold that she might see a squirrel as she is running between my legs.  So, I am alternating between terror and belly laughs, when I look up into a Douglas fir on my property. And there it is, big as life.  I pull out my camera and start snapping. No telling how long he'd been there. We were outside for 45 minutes. S/he just sat there looking majestic. Fearing Willow might spook the animal, I coaxed her inside. I snapped the image above from my living room window.  It's been a stupidly long week. A good week, but extraordinarily lonnnnnnnnnng. That said.  .  ...

For 30 years we were together. For 30 years, if there was a family event, from a small dinner to a large holiday celebration, I went. My sisters-in-law both have spouses. They would show up at all the large celebrations, but often, for smaller occasions, they would not attend. So, it would be Jenny, Omi, our kids and me. When I would on occasion find out my analogues in the family weren't attending a given event, I would sometimes suggest to Jenny I skip the event. It is not as if these were rare occasions. Jenny was always offended and never agreed. To keep the peace, on all but maybe one or two occasions--let's call them excused absences (pretty much only sick or work obligations)--I would just attend.  This isn't about Jenny, believe it or not . The question I have asked myself over the last several years is why I didn't push back harder. We had serious arguments over this, the few times I suggested I not attend. When I would point out my cohorts were not attending, ...

 Entry 1    9:05 a.m. Random Thoughts Grief does funny things to your mind. I can't keep things straight.Yesterday, for instance, I turned the water on in one of the master bathroom sinks and forgot about it and it ran for two hours until Leiney discovered it while retrieving Willow from my room. Fortunately, the drain wasn't stopped. If that wasn't bad enough, I went to take Willow out yesterday afternoon, and opened the door before putting her leash on, something that CANNOT happen. I spent 45 minutes cursing her, cursing myself, and cursing my fucked up distraction, trying to get her back in the yard, back in the house, and ultimately into her crate. I was wearing my slippers when I made the mistake, and slipped in a pile of freshly laid dog droppings as I went to chase her. About 15 minutes in, it started to rain. Buddy, who I can use to lure her back sometimes, would not come when I called him, and ran back in the house when I dragged him out by his collar. It w...