kvetching up

 Entry 1     12:03 Author David Rieff on his mother, author and public intellectual, Susan Sontag's cancer: " But then, she, too, was surprised when the doctors in Seattle came in to tell her the bone-marrow transplant had failed and her leukemia was back. She screamed out, "But this means I'm going to die!" I will never forget that scream, or think of it without wanting to cry out myself. And yet, even that terrible morning, in a pristine room at the University of Washington Medical Center, with its incongruously beautiful view of Lake Union and Mount Rainier in the background, I remember being surprised by her surprise. I suppose I shouldn't have been. T here are those who can reconcile themselves to death and those who can't . Increasingly, I've come to think that it is one of the most important ways the world divides up. Anecdotally, after all those hours I spent in doctors' outer offices and in hospital lobbies, cafeterias and family rooms, m...

Entry 1.    1:16 a.m. So, readers of Jenny's most recent Caringbridge post may be experiencing cognitive dissonance when reading my own recent journal entries.  I certainly am.  Jenny describes that her disease is stable,  maybe changing a little.  I describe clearly growing disease.  It is true that her oncologist said in his eyes she is stable and that he disagrees with the radiologist report from two weeks ago on May 23, which asserted the CT showed growth of the tumor and mets, and also new mets. When pressed, Dr. P said each reader may see something different. Also note, he admitted he could not explain the exploding CA 19-9 numbers. My biology teacher, Mr. Hicklin, taught me Occam's Razor--i.e, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. Rising CA 19-9 could be explained most simply by cancer growth. But wait, there's more.  While the actual radiology report wont be posted for another 24 hours, we do have the Emergency doctor's not...