Posts

Showing posts with the label college apps

Vashon

Early mornings, the dogs nearby and content, music playing, alone with my thoughts, this is when the darkness comes. " Nobody said it was easy, nobody said it would be so hard ," Aimee Mann sings through her nose, reminding me that I am woefully unprepared to be alone, and irretrievably broken to move forward. I spin in circles all the time.  Grief moves at its own pace . I am sad for so much. I grieve her passing. I grieve for my girls loss of their mother. I grieve for the relationship I thought was one thing, but was another. The loss of time I could have spent with someone that loved me, that better part of my life that I will never get back, these things I mourn as well. I of misspent youth, awho always blamed myself for her anger toward me, even though I knew it to be irrational at the time. I, who believed myself so smart, to realize I am the fool, who disguised himself from himself only by not wearing harlequin and a motley. We all build sandcastles against the tide o...

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

Work is throwing a goodbye party for me on January 19. Coincidentally, it is also Jenny's birthday. I won't take the day off. The current plan is to go to the Playgarden and have a picnic at the mosaic made in Jenny's honor by a local artist. A weird fucking local artist who decided it would be appropriate to say a few words at Jenny's Celebration of Life, despite not knowing her nor ever meeting her. That was weird, but not as weird as the person who stood up and claimed to be Jenny's best friend. Jenny's actual best friends--she had two-- were present and accounted for, so wtf? People are strange. Not sure how I feel about doing this work send-off on her birthday, but there is no way around it. My intent is to have a drink and then Uber home. I don't like driving with just one drink on board, just don't do it. Having given notice, I am so jammed up at work, I was at the office e from 8 until 6, came home and made turkey drumsticks for dinner, took down...