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Everybody Knows That The Dice Are Loaded

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Everybody knows that you love me baby Everybody knows that you really do Everybody knows that you've been faithful Oh, give or take a night or two Everybody knows you've been discreet But there were so many people you just h ad to meet Without your clothes Everybody knows -Leonard Cohen I am being consumed by this, swallowed whole.  I live this life, stuck and not wanting to get unstuck, because I know the only way that happens is when her cancer runs its course.  I think about two things every day, all the time, pancreatic cancer, and the betrayal.  I am convinced my vertigo is a direct result of the constant stress I have been under these last several months.  I don't feel strong enough to do this. But I don't have an alternative.   Jenny is upstairs on the phone with Big Sisters, laughing hysterically.  Earlier tonight a teacher friend dropped by and they had a good old time.  Jenny, not suffering from the chemo, is in high spirits.  Meanw...