kvetching up

Defensiveness keeps individuals from accepting responsibility for their actions. If a spouse is defensive, they are justifying their behavior, or blaming their partner for the problem.”  --John Gottman I am much more introspective when I begin putting down words.  At the outset, I want to be clear that our marriage has been far from perfect for a very long time, something we both have and do acknowledge.  A very long time.  Things started heading south on my end back when we began having fights about money, and Jenny would be angry I wasn't making enough, and wanted me to find additional work. Nevermind that I liked the work I did, even if I hated the job.  Nevermind that she worked in a field that paid far less than me, and that her ideas were gender bound. When I would suggest that, perhaps, if she wanted to have more money she should get a different job, she would retort that she was doing work she liked--even though I would often hear she hated to do that p...