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kvetching up

Navigating our lives in the time of COVID-19 and pancreatic cancer. If nothing else, I created one hell of a playlist.

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It's A Jungle Out There

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Wednesday, July 07, 2021

Three days was the morning My focus three days old My head, it landed To the sounds of cricket bows 3 Days Gone I really couldn't have hoped for a better Christmas holiday, with both girls and I celebrating multiple times. We went to the Central Cinema twice--once for the Muppet Christmas Carol which, bluntly put, is sacrilege to the memory of all I hold holy around the bourgeois Dickens story. I own the Reginald Owen, Alistar Sims, George C. Scott, a couple of cartoon versions, but not the Mr. Magoo version (it must exist, right?). All have one Marley. None have Rizzo the Rat accompanying a Gonzo as Dickens to provide exposition. Call me a purist. I own a very old copy of the story itself--not quite a novel in length-that I bought when my mother was dying in hospital back in 2008. I have never gotten through the first stave, praise the lord of ADHD. Anyhow, Christmas has been an utter delight. We dutifully watched Charlie Brown's Christmas, played board games together--a firs...

Don't Do It, Don't Do It, Oh, Lord

Friday, April 23, 2021

It Hurts, It Hurts So Bad. . . 3:44 a.m. I walked in the door last night at just before 10 to find Jenny in a ball on the floor--between the giant ottoman and sectional--agonizing pain in her hip. I had ridden to acting with the student driver. But, let's back up. Jenny had chemo yesterday. Her friend Jennifer took her. It was uneventful and she received chemo. I, as always, prepared the house for her arrival to make sure she wanted for nothing and would be comfortable as she endures the aftermath of all that poison. Sometime before she came home, she texted, saying the doctor suggested she try Aleve for her hip pain. Aleve. She asked me to pick some up for her while Abby was at acting. During the text exchange I realized she would be alone after Abby and I left for acting. Leiney was elsewhere and had therapy at 5 and kickboxing later, and her sister Moni had bailed on chemo because she had so much to do (Wit...

Life, A Cascading Series of Disappointment

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Jenny has cancer. Terminal cancer. We learned that in late July. Jenny had dropped 25 lbs. in the spring without trying. She had been having vague stomach complaints since October. As a balm for her concerns, her doctor agreed to do a CT scan for her, but told her they would find nothing. Jenny wanted to rule out pancreatic cancer, which had recently killed her dad-in the spring of 2019. Her mother had been sick with lymphoma since February 2020. The day of the scan, the doctor told Jenny they would get results back in a few days. When Jenny's phone rang that same afternoon, I was in the living room with Abby, where I was torturing her by playing the Rapping Duke on Youtube. Jenny shouted from the room, "Geoff, get in here, the doctor's on the phone." "You have a four cm. mass on your pancreas," he said. Jenny made a sound like someone had punched her in the stomach. "There is a spot on your liver. You have a necrotic lymph nod...

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pathetic diabetic1
pathology2
pathology report5
Patty1
paul1
paul simon1
paul whiteman orchestra1
Paul Zweig1
Pavarotti1
PCR1
pdac12
peace table1
peaches records1
PeeWee Herman1
pen knife1
penn station1
perdedor1
personal arboretum1
Peter3
Peter Cottontail must die1
Philadelphia Art Museum1
phoebe bridgers1
phone1
phone call1
phone campaign1
photographs1
phyllis diller1
physician assisted suicide1
physician's assistant1
Piccolinos1
pictures1
pictures of you1
pigeons1
Pigfish1
pigs in zen1
pigs on the wing 11
pike place market1
pilate1
pinche1
pinché motherfucker4
pinchémotherfucker1
pink floyd4
pink martini1
pink triangle1
planning list1
plastic1
Playgarden1
plexus block1
plum tree1
plural1
podcast1
Poe1
pogo sticking1
poo poo point2
porcelain pumpkin1
Porgy and Bess1
Portland4
portlandia1
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post cards1
pot2
Powells1
pregnancy1
pregnant1
prehike1
prevarication2
pride2
pride parade1
priest lake1
printer1
priorities2
problems with s221
procedure8
procedure day1
processing1
prodigal daughter1
profundity1
prognosis2
prometheus1
property1
proud papa1
prove my love1
PSAT1
PSATs1
psilocybin1
psychedelic therapy2
PT/OT1
PTSD1
pumpkin1
pumpkin carving1
pumpkin patch1
punch cards1
puppy5
puppy times1
purcell1
purchase1
putnum county1
puzzle1
QFC1
quality of life1
que sera sera1
quiche2
quiet contemplation1
Quincy1
R.E.M.1
R.EM.1
race racism and american law1
raclette1
radio silence1
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radiology1
radiology findings1
radiology report1
rage2
rage against they dying of the light1
rain1
rainbow1
ramani2
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rapid testing1
rapper's delight1
rational1
rational choice theory1
rats1
Ravenna4
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reading1
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rebecca black2
receipts1
record sales1
record store1
recovery1
recruiter1
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Redding1
Redmond1
refeeding syndrome1
refractory cancer1
Regina Spektor1
regret1
rehab1
REI1
relief1
relocating1
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rendering works1
renton3
Renton High School1
renton home1
Renton River Days1
resbit1
resentment1
residents1
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results3
retail therapy2
return to work1
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rey1
reymundo1
reyna1
rhino records1
richard and linda thompson1
richard peterson.1
richard thompson2
Richland1
rick simpson1
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rio1
ripping1
river1
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road trip1
Robert Burns1
Robert Burton1
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rock1
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rollator1
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roomies1
roots1
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rowing machine1
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rules1
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Sade1
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sancturary1
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sarah2
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scale1
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scca2
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scrabble2
screening1
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set1
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shayla1
sheila2
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shoes1
shopping2
shoreline1
short stay1
shortbread1
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shoulder1
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shut down1
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sick leave1
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sister2
sisters1
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skydiving1
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snickelfritz1
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snow4
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snuggling1
so far1
soaking1
sob1
sofa1
soft food1
soft-boiled egg1
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solitude1
sometimes a cigar is just a cigar1
sonia2
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sorrow6
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southpark1
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Space Oddity1
Spacemen 31
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split1
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spring break1
SPU1
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St. Augustine of Hippo1
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stable1
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stairs1
Starbucks1
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starving to death1
stationary1
statistics1
stay at home day1
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steely dan2
stellar jay1
stenosis2
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stents4
Stephen Bruton1
stephen king1
steroids;=1
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steve miller band1
steve winwood1
stevie winwood1
stone blind love1
stop breakin' down1
stop button1
Strange Things Are Happening1
street art1
street fair1
stress mgmt1
stress test1
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stroke2
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student driver2
Stumptown1
substitute oncologist1
suffering8
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Sugar1
sugar hill gang1
sugars1
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suicidal ideation1
suicide3
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sulk1
summer3
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surgery4
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survival1
Susan Sontag1
sushi1
suzanne vega1
swifties1
swiss cookies1
sympathy1
t-cells1
tabs1
Taco Tuesday1
taco tuesday two days early1
take a load off annie1
talk talk2
talking heads2
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tall tales1
tandem therapy4
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Taylor Swift3
tea1
tears1
tech1
tech bro2
tedeschi1
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Tempus fugit2
terminal1
terminal disease1
terminal illness1
test1
text1
text ranting1
text storm1
texting2
texts1
Thai1
Thanksgiving2
thanksgiving prep1
that's all you seem to do)1
THC1
The Archies1
The Band3
the beatles2
the big lebowski1
the big questions1
The Blue Moon1
the bobs1
the bodeans1
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble1
The Carter Family1
the clash1
the cure3
the decemberists2
the doors1
the final cut1
the good old days1
the great white way1
the grift1
the handyman can2
the jetsons1
the kossoy sisters1
the lemonheads1
the long emergency1
the main ingredient1
The Met1
the mob1
The Office1
the only thing1
the paper kites3
The Perfect Disaster1
the pogues1
The Police5
the rolling stones1
The Scientist1
the second coming1
The Sundays2
the thinker1
the trammps1
the waterboys2
the weight1
the who2
therapist2
therapy19
thin1
third-line chemotherapy1
thirty-thousand dollars4
Thomas Dolby1
threat1
three dog night1
through the looking glass1
thunder basin1
Thunder Creek Basin1
tie rod1
Tim Fisk1
time flies1
time passages1
tinnitus1
tiny houses1
tired1
to tell the truth1
tobacco road1
together1
tolle1
Tom Petty2
Tom Rush2
tom waits4
tomahawk1
tomfoolery1
Touch of Grey1
townes van zandt1
train1
transient1
trapped1
travel3
travelogue1
treadmill4
treatment failure1
tree1
trials1
tricycle santa1
trip1
trocouni1
truck1
true love1
trust1
tsetse1
tsongas1
TTP. CA 19-91
tuesday's gone1
tumor4
turkey hangover1
type 21
typewriter1
U-Haul1
U-Village1
U21
uber1
uncinate process1
uncle1
uncle lucius1
under pressure1
underwood1
unfaithfulness2
unmoored1
unpacking2
unreviewed1
update1
upper west side1
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UW1
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UW iver tumor clinic1
UW Liver Center1
UW Liver Clinic1
uw liver tumor clinic2
vacation1
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Valentine's Day1
vampire1
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van gogh1
Vancouver. ravenna1
vape pen3
vashti bunyan1
Vegas1
Velvet Underground2
venus in furs1
vernon dalhart1
vertigo4
vestibular artery1
Vince Guaraldi2
Vincent Black Lightning 19521
vinces1
vinyl1
virgina mason2
virginia mason1
visions of johanna1
VM4
VM study1
vomited1
vomiting2
Voodoo Donuts1
waistline1
Waiting for Godot1
waldorf-astoria1
walk1
walk around the park1
walk in the park1
walker2
walker store1
walkin' on the sun1
walking1
wants and needs1
Warren Zevon6
Washington Crossing the Delaware1
wasting disease1
watch1
water1
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waterlog1
WD1
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weakness1
WebMD2
weight5
weight loss10
weights2
weird al yankovic1
well fuck me1
welsh1
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Western1
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westlake1
what are we doing?1
What I Am1
what will be will be1
whatevs1
wheel chair1
When I am laid in earth1
where does the time go1
who are you1
why1
why can't you be honest1
willard1
Willow37
willow is a squatch2
willow the pillow1
win one for the gipper1
windstorm1
withdrawal1
wizard of oz2
woody1
work3
workout1
world party1
worth1
wrath1
wreck of the old 971
wtaf1
WWU1
wynn stewart2
x-ray2
Xanax5
xfinity1
xmas2
Xtian1
Yakima1
yard3
year of firsts1
year of the cat1
Yeats1
yes1
you may be right1
you took my joy1
your momma dont dance1
YTN6
yule log2
yurt3
zagor1
zero margins1
Zevon1
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zimbabwe1
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zoom1
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