kvetching up

 Entry 1     5:43 a.m. Jenny woke me at midnight via text in horrible pain, so bad it broke through her regular meds.  This was the worst pain she has had, I can say. I got her Dilaudid, the drug she was told to take when the pain breaks through the oxycodone. Bringing her meds to her with water, she took the Dilaudid and then I laid with her. She writhed in agony. I rubbed her back and arm. She is so skinny I felt bones wherever I touched her.  She fell back asleep about 12:43 a.m. I quietly got up and retreated to my room, hopeful she would now sleep until morning.

Entry 1     8:46 a.m.  Ani DiFranco was my favorite artist for several years in the 1990s. Not so much anymore, but there was a time.  In 1997 she released a double-live CD, Living In Clip.  Clipping is distortion from an amplifier--the cause of which isn't important here.  Of one thing I am certain. Since August of last year, I have been living in clip--everything has been and remains distorted, doubly so.  That I am living in a world made distorted by terminal illness and an ongoing affair, was again last night made clear in our tandem therapy.  I offer a huzzah for the therapist who two weeks in a row saw a side of Jenny that I think she is finally understanding. It was very much a discussion about death and dying, magic and loss. Magic because we talked about God. Loss, because we talked about the end. In an incredibly smart move, I had 3 fingers of scotch right as the meeting started, in a high ball glass.  It was enough to keep m...

 Entry 1     4:00 p.m. I thought that the dog alarm clock wake up at 4:37 a.m. was going to be the nadir of my day. The Gods must be laughing. At just after 9 a.m. Leiney calls.  She is on I-5, near Mt. Vernon, having just spun out and hit another car and then bouncing into the cable fence in the median.  She stopped facing the wrong way.  Despite going over 60 miles an hour, and slamming into another car, her airbags did not deploy.  The good news is she wasn't injured, nor was the driver in the other car.   I drove to Mt. Vernon, Jenny along for the ride. On the way, Jenny was on and off the phone with Leiney.  Jenny and Leiney must have embraced for 10-15 minutes when we got to the Mt. Vernon SBUX, where the staties dropped her off. I learned that when the police arrived, they suggested she drive it the car to a collision repair place. She was in no shape to do that. Nor was the car. The tow-truck driver had arrived, and told t...