kvetching up

39 years ago today I graduated from high school . 5 days later my best friend since childhood died. He was gone in an instant. It was such a terrible loss for the world. A kinder and funnier person I can't say I've met.  Much love, Corey. I held Buddy yesterday on my lap in our living room as the vet came to put him down. He seemed so normal through the day. Outside, he ran and barked through the fence at who knows what? But his prostate was so large his urethra was pinched off causing him to emit urine like a double kinked hose lets water flow. This made it clear it had to be done. Leiney, Jared and Abby were here too. The vet was very kind. She explained the two step process of giving a sedative and letting it take effect, before administering the coup de grâce. The sedative took a very long time to work, such that Buddy had to get the full dose, which initially we didn't think would be necessary. Holding him as he drifted off slowly, the girls each gave him loving attent...

Entry 1    1:18 a.m.  Her breathing is shallow and rapid. She is so sick. Jane, Kim and I spent the night talking, with me regaling them with fond remembrances of Jenny. I have so many. When we moved in together in a small apartment, we lived near Larry's Market on Aurora. We would get romaine lettuce and Larry's fresh Caeser dressing, eat the salad together and watch Seinfeld and Jeopardy sitting next to one another. It's in that same apartment where I used to have Jenny in tears of laughter enacting terrible shadow puppet plays at night as we lay together in our king-sized bed. We were happy, our frontiers unmapped, unseen, unknown, unmeasured and unexplored. I want to wrap my arms around her and suck all of her sickness into my breast. I want to travel the world with her again, to have her laugh at me as I am inadvertently hitting Ticos on the head while I am trying to heft my backpack into the rear of a bus bound for Arenal. I want to relive walking the 4 miles to the...