kvetching up

 Entry 1.    1:16 a.m. My crate mates think I am member of the pack. Tired finally. My mind preoccupied. Jenny wants to start planning a party for March, a living wake.  I suggested we do it on her birthday. Left unspoken is my fear March is too late. I hope I am wrong.  This evening, she couldn't really leave the couch. She keeps offering to help clean. What she could accomplish just a week ago she cannot do today. If she can push herself to a car, she has energy to drive places, but getting out of the car and making it.  .  . say. . . to the back of Bartell's is now unimaginable.

 Entry 1     4:00 p.m. I thought that the dog alarm clock wake up at 4:37 a.m. was going to be the nadir of my day. The Gods must be laughing. At just after 9 a.m. Leiney calls.  She is on I-5, near Mt. Vernon, having just spun out and hit another car and then bouncing into the cable fence in the median.  She stopped facing the wrong way.  Despite going over 60 miles an hour, and slamming into another car, her airbags did not deploy.  The good news is she wasn't injured, nor was the driver in the other car.   I drove to Mt. Vernon, Jenny along for the ride. On the way, Jenny was on and off the phone with Leiney.  Jenny and Leiney must have embraced for 10-15 minutes when we got to the Mt. Vernon SBUX, where the staties dropped her off. I learned that when the police arrived, they suggested she drive it the car to a collision repair place. She was in no shape to do that. Nor was the car. The tow-truck driver had arrived, and told t...

 Entry 1     9:52 a.m. " The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. "     -Proverbs 19:11 View from the master bedroom 10.26.2021 I have let go of my anger again, finally. I, like each of us, am a work in progress. It feels like a tremendous weight off of my shoulders, but I suspect the anger isn't too far away. I will just keep moving ahead one day at a time, and keep reminding myself that caring for oneself demands that I remember that this too shall pass.   Jenny and I spoke with one of the doctors on the care team today, Dr. B, about yesterday's visit to the ER. He said that the collapsed lungs are actually not that at all, but a totally normal occurrence when a person is sedated and laying flat for the CT. This is a relief beyond words.  Before knowing this, I managed to sleep pretty well last night. The dogs didn't wake me until 5:15, which I could be annoyed by, but instead am viewing...

 Entry 1     7:48 p.m. The dogs generously let me sleep until 5:30 a.m., bless their waggity tails. I am finding Willow's barking, exacerbated by Buddy's amen corner yip yipping, particularly vexing this morning. Th ey make up for it by being so damned sweet and funny.  Today I will tackle the remaining 6 boxes or so in the garage.  I say this every weekend and hope to follow through today.   I hadn't thought of it until now, but it seems unlikely we will go to the Carpinito Brother's Halloween corn maze this year, the end of a tradition. It brings back this strong memory of my mother, weakened by the effects of chemo and suffering from neuropathy, sitting in her car and waiting, while we took a 5 year old Leiney and a wee Abby to a pumpkin patch and corn maze in Everett.  She was sick, forlorn, and devastatingly sad, waiting for us to finish the excursion. She wanted desperately to participate, cancer got in the way.  It is so vivid, un...

 Entry 1     9:38 a.m. I slept poorly. In bed around 9ish, asleep after 3, then up again (thanks to Willow and Buddy) before 6. Despite this, I am ecstatic that Friday is upon us. I will sleep tonight. Jenny has not run away, I am keeping my distance once again, which just feels right. No big plans this weekend. I committed to getting Leiney a bluetooth enabled printer, and Abby and I took care of that last night, which frees up both Saturday and Sunday. Leiney is coming home, obviously. She will be working today and tomorrow, but I expect to spend time with her. 

 Entry 1     11:11 a.m.  Before 9 last night I went to bed. I was tired. Jenny got home from Sequim, and we had promised to take Abby to dinner to celebrate her taking the PSAT, and we went to a Thai restaurant and came home. It was fine. I wasn't chatty, but not sullen. Things got weird when we got to the restaurant and Abby and Jenny took their seats across from each other in the booth, and as I sat down next to Jenny she said to Abby, "Do you want me to sit by you?"  Abby declined.  I had hesitated, although neither of them noticed, as I approached the booth, and had decided to sit next to Jenny rather than escalate right there with Abby present. I didn't want her involved in the nonsense.  We chit-chatted during dinner and on the way home.  The Grassy Knoll We got home close to 9. I'd been up off and on since 3 a.m. thanks to the dogs, and was ready to crawl into bed, and I did just that, laid my body down.    Jenny was in the b...