kvetching up

Entry 1    5:10 p.m. Its been a quiet day. Jenny was gone early to chemo, Abby at school. Since I am not working, and the house is ship shape, I spent a lot of time reading, texting with friends and pacing, waiting for the dog groomer to come.  Leiney, 2nd grade. It has been an overwhelming roller coaster the last few weeks. Between internal bleeding, terminal delirium, hospice talk, infidelity and everything else going on, I am wrung out. When I think I am at an emotional nadir, the bottom falls out again. It feels like. . . well, I would compare it to that ride that used to be at the Puyallup Fair, where you go into this circular room with no ceiling and high walls. Everyone is lined up with their backs against the wall, and the room literally begins to spin. As it goes faster, the floor drops out from under you, and you are stuck to the wall. Well,  almost stuck. In fact, you are slowly sliding toward the floor, and the slow realization of this forces panic t...

Entry 1     7:57 a.m. " She's So Many Women, He Can't Find The One Who Was His Friend" I'm going to a cardiologist next week.  Even absent an MI, something is rotten in the state of Denmark. Heart problems run in the family.  Killed my uncle.  So, I now have a cardiologist.  Moving up in the world, also, just around the time I receive my AARP card.  Perfect. I am typing with one hand.  it isn't terrible.  It does allow for fewer typing errors.  I will make an appt. to get an MRI on my shoulder and back today. I feel like some old engine that's lost its driving wheel . Meanwhile, Leiney is working two jobs.  She went from camp counselor to door knocking for Amnesty this week.  12 hour days.  Outside,  Wrangling kids and engaging in political conversations. She is exhausted, but in heaven.