kvetching up

Entry 5    12:42 a.m. She must be terrified, all alone with this news while confused and delirious. Entry 4    11:07 p.m. The doctor called. Jenny's bleed cannot be fixed, it was determined after yet another scope. The bleeding is too diffuse and the bleeding tumor in a place that can't  be reached. Which also means her emboli cannot be treated. Which means her time to decide on hospice is getting very short. Which means she is close to actively dying. We had a dry run of sorts earlier tonight when Jenny called and told me according to the doctor she wouldn't last through the night. Worrying for Jenny today . I told the girls and her sisters what Jenny had said. About 5 minutes later I had an epiphany--  Jenny is delusional and what she told me wasn't reality based. I let everyone know no doctor had spoken to me at that point, and warned Jenny may simply be confused. Sure enough, when the doctor called, it turns out what she said was that Jenny, if she lef...

Entry 1  1:18 p.m. Jenny shows early signs of edema in her ankles. I am guessing the steroid she is taking is the reason for this, but I am not a doctor. She showed me her ankles yesterday, and I immediately looked up the side effects of her new steroid, being used off-label to increase her blood pressure. It has worked wonders. For the first time in 31 years, her blood pressure looks normal instead of low. According to the internet, the two side effects of the drug are high blood pressure and edema. I am hopeful that is it.  However, Jenny woke up this morning in terrible pain in her stomach. She reports that she had trouble leaning over from the edge of the bed when putting  on her pants. One of the side effects of cancer, and this cancer especially, is ascites--fluid created by the cancer that will pool in the interstices of your body. It is incredibly painful. Jenny is understandably worried this signals the end. She was sobbing this morning and I spent an hour comfor...