kvetching up

 Entry 1     2.12.2022 Listening to The Velvet Underground alone. All alone. The dog walkers have come and taken my only company away. I sit in this cavernous room, thinking about what the changes that have taken place over the last two years have meant for me and my family. I thought I lived a mundane life, in an unhappy but not toxic middle class marriage with beloved children. I envisioned, at worst, that our children would finish high school, and if Jenny and I hadn't figured it out, we would be divorced. That is the truth. I went to work each day, spent the evenings with Jenny and the girls, and the nights with Leiney and Abby on occasion, and then almost all the time. Every excuse to leave was exercised by Jenny. I didn't look askance at any departure. This didn't mean I didn't love or don't love Jenny. But, people can change and grow apart or pull away. It's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea. But, this is no way to say goodbye. Abb...

Entry 1     6:27 a.m. Woke up at 430 to the sound of packing tape being unspooled.  Twas, Abby, who had yet completed packing, and consistently refused to let anyone help her. Her room went quiet around 5.  The movers arrive between 8-9. She will be cranky today, to be sure. Jenny was texting with el pinché, under the full effect of her nightime meds, when I pried her off the sectional and coaxed her to her bed. I was angry about this, but said nothing. She would lie or feign surprise, or more likely, both. I am, after almost a year of this, exhausted.  I am tired.  I am weary. I could sleep for 1000 years. I think my anger today stems from the fact that everything I do is for her, whether its a vacation the week we should be moving or readying the house for a move, the extra work I had and have to do because we weren't home; the riding in the sand dunes, riding with her behind the wheel despite the risk. Shit, the purchase of the car itself.  He...