For My Next Trick, I Will Need. A Volunteer
Entry 1 8:58 a.m I am deeply depressed. I am not returning calls, not doing the greatest. My kids don't know, I don't think. My therapist has no idea. I don't think grief adequately describes the place where I am. I have lost interest in absolutely everything. I only move when forced. Yesterday was Abby's family birthday celebration, so I got my shit together and made sure it was everything she would hope it would be. I hung streamers, prepared lunch, had family around. It was fine. As soon as everyone left, I shut back down, too tired to even think right, so tired I went to sleep at a decent hour. Oh, yeah, I haven't been sleeping. I am not doing well. Please know, if you are calling or texting and I haven't responded, I have seen them, I am just curled up inside myself right now, and am trying hard to climb back out. By the way, I am not anywhere close to a place where I may be contemplating suicide. I have kids, I would NEVER leave them willingly. ...