kvetching up

 Entry 1     5:41 a.m. Awake since 3, worried about tomorrow. The scan results. The CT results. The treatment plan moving forward. It will be a very long day. We don't see Picozzi until 2 or 2:30, which means chemo will start an hour later, we won't be home until 6 or 7.

 Entry 1   9:35 a.m. The rain is pouring. The dogs loved it. This is a change for Buddy, but the enthusiasm of his "little" sister, who prances, cavorts, wiggles, waggles, jumps and runs in the yard regardless of the weather, kept him out there with his tail wagging hard.  It is nice to have such levity. Bookends.  Jenny, my poor sweet wife, lamenting death last night, and begging for her diagnosis not to be real this morning.  Expressing dread about her upcoming scan, she told me she doesn't want to die, with the same plaintive voice she uses every time.  This is wrenching.  Two more days and we will see Dr. P., get the scan, discuss the pathology report, and have to decide how to move forward. I expect we will continue on this regimen.  Jenny is worried her cancer has grown or spread, or both. I have no idea.  I just know that her endurance, despite her best attempts to fight it, continues to wane. She continues to fight. She just said...

 Entry 1     10:18 a.m. Inter A week from the MRI, and my knees aren't quite so bad. Albeit, my walk remains more Charlie Chaplin than Long John Silver like.  Still, I can move a bit better, but pay for it with aching knees.  It could be worse. I could have terminal cancer. I installed a motion sensor, a glass break detector a camera with alarm and motion sensors, and a motion sensor light around the outside of the downstairs yesterday. I also affixed stickers to the windows. I have two more lights and one more camera to install.  The camera and light I installed during the deluge; a real old-fashioned PNW experience.  I slept in my bed last night for the first time in two weeks.  I woke repeatedly. I don' think I will be able to do that peacefully until I have the downstairs sliding glass door replaced with security doors and bars placed on the 2 huge windows. My love hate relationship with Seattle does have a lot to do with the years...

 Entry 1     6:55 a.m. A few weeks ago Jenny had a biopsy done on a liver metastases to identity whether there were any genetic sequences that could be targeted through immunothera py.  Immunotherapy is, as described by cancerresearch.org, a form of cancer therapy that uses a person's own immune system to fight the cancer.  Such treatment may include "targeted antibodies, cancer vaccines, adoptive cell transfer, tumor-infecting viruses, checkpoint inhibitors, cytokines and adjuvants." Adoptive cell transfer is the use of your own T-cells to fight the cancer.  Omi underwent this as a second-line response to her lymphoma.  It didn't work for her, obviously, but it can work and is a powerful tool fighting against cancer.  If Jenny's biopsy results demonstrated she was eligible for this treatment, the procedure entailed extracting T-cells from her bone marrow, growing it in a petri dish for a few weeks to create more, and then injecting them int...

  Entry 1     1:23 p.m. Yesterday, I made applesauce with honeycrisp apples. It feels good to usher in the fall with that tradition, to quell the sense of wooziness and disorientation. I am craving that applesauce right now.