kvetching up

Entry 1  " Ain't it just like the night to play tricks When you're trying to be so quiet?"                         -from Visions of Johanna  From Notre Dame 7.11.2018. When Jenny was first diagnosed, I had a recurring nightmare. In a darkened room, lit only by candles in candelabras sitting on an ornately carved dining room table, sat Mick, Omi and my mother dressed in flowing white robes, stern-faced. My mother and Omi sat across from me at one end of the table, with Mic to my right at the head of the very long table. I don't remember if they said anything to me, but I do know they were very disapproving of the way I was and had treated Jenny. Their presence was terrifying. I felt as if I was visiting the land of the dead and being judged a failure in my relationship with my cancer-diagnosed wife.      ⬲⬐⬐⬐⬐ ⬐⬐⬐⬐ ⬐⬐⬐⬐ ⬐⬐⬐⬐ ⬐⬐⬐⬐ ⬐⬐⬐⬐ ⬐⬐⬐⬐ ⬲ In my waking life, despite knowing it was ...

Entry 1 " He's making a list, he's checking it twice, he's gonna find out whose naughty or nice. "  A month after you are diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, you go on a backpacking trip with your husband, your sisters, and their spouses.Your husband notices some weird shit has been happening around the home, like your decision to let someone else cut your hair, despite his pathetic pleading to you to let him do it. He is suspicious, not for the first time since you have been Lake Quinalt, 2013. together. Each time in the past, when he confronted you, you eventually copped to the affair, like you did with Tom. There were other times he suspected, but didn't confront you. There was never  a time he was aware of, when you thought you'd been caught before he talked to you about it. You have been cheating on your spouse for several years with el pinche. The evidence your spouse found of the affair is legion, found on your phone while laying in the tent that nigh...

Posted this last night, but it didn't show up in the earlier post: I got here to this third camp about 1:15.  Dave, my BIL, arrived quite some time earlier.  We are not just in the middle of nowhere, we are surrounded by mountains and glaciers.  We had to bushwack through miles of trail today to get here. Its a treacherous route, and not for the faint of heart, or the injured.  Injured?  Yes.  I would tell you from experience that hiking with a jacked up knee is risky.  More risky, hiking with 2 jacked up knees.  I only had one until Monday, when I slipped and fell crossing a stream, only to slip and fall again while trying to cross a second time.  The good news is, I had a brace and it's on my now injured left knee. The bad news, I don't have a brace for my other knee, which lacks a miniscus.  To make the injury worse, I got separated that first day from Dave, and hiked 3.2 miles past our campsite, the first mile a 1000 foot climb....

  August 28 6:18 a.m Another night of sleep interrupted by throbbing pain in both knees, an essentially locked left knee, and the biting cold. I am bundled in two pairs of socks, thermal underwear , regular underwear, a t-shirt, hiking pants, a fleece jacket and a beanie , all wrapped in a sleeping bag .  If any part of me got uncovered, it quickly would become incredibly cold, so cold ot would wake me.  My right arm escaped at some point, probably putting my hat back on. My hand was so cold when it woke me, I imagine it could have been blue.  Its in the lower 30s in the night. All told, I probably woke 10-12 times. I am lookong forward to many things today, amonf them a solid night of sleep.  Time to pack.