kvetching up

Hell - Hieronymus Bosch   Weekend Jam I fell again this morning--thanks inner ear crystals! In the beautiful series of events that comprise my life, I had terrible abdominal cramps last night that led me to going downstairs and laying across an ottoman just after 9, trying to find relief.  My torso covered the ottoman, my head bent down over its front, my knees bent on the floor at the other end.  Its a fucking freezer down there.  Nevertheless, I fell asleep while reading about CA 19-9, maintaining that awkward position for two hours.  Jenny, came to check on me around 11, as she and Kim were going to bed.  I woke briefly, intending on going back upstairs, yeah--not so much.   At 3:15 a.m., I woke again.  It was so cold, cold enough I should have checked for hoar frost on my chin.  I didn't.  It was my first mistake.  The second mistake? I tried to stand up.  Silly me.  I fell like Tommy Hearns connecting with a Tyso...

De Nile flowing through Egypt Leiney is an amazing young woman.  Her kindness is innate, and overflows all the time. She is whipsmart, curious, and obsessed with justice.  It's what drew her to Fairhaven, where she has just completed her first two quarters.  She entered uni with 60 credits, so she is technically a sophomore.  But she has been stuck home, doing distance learning since last spring as a high school senior and is done with it.  Yesterday, she told Jenny and I that she has withdrawn for spring quarter and is going to find work.  I felt sorrow for her, and was quiet--trying to keep my shit separate from hers--after she told us.  Jenny, gushed with pride.  She told Leiney she was so proud of her for telling us, and for being proactive about withdrawing--sentiments I share.  Jenny then said, its just so hard with so much going on, COVID-19 and your mom sick with a terminal illness.  I waited.  The third leg of the stoo...

Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV). Also known as fuck my life.  Why do I get all the weird disorders?  Some years ago I had scleritis in my eye.  If I recall correctly, my left eye.  It looked like a popped blood vessel covering half of the white of my eye.  It was benign, thankfully.  If not, it could have signaled a much worse disease and a shortening of my life.  It causes great pain that can't be reached by the use of opiates or other pain relievers, which was fun.  As it was, I wore an eye patch for months until it cleared up.  It also was benign, like the BPPV.   I had tests this morning, again, at Kaiser.  They finally nailed down the issue when they moved my head rapidly while laying me down, and checking to see if there was involuntary movement of, yep, my eyes. There was.  I'm not pleased.  The only treatment, except in the most extreme cases, is this weird head and body exercise I am supposed to d...

Walking on the Moon Dizzy.  Three days now.  Overwhelming.  Scary.  Worried I have a brain bleed.  It comes in waves. I went to urgent care on Sunday.  MRI and CT.  My brain is photogenic. No bleeds, no tumors.  I go back today.   This has been going on since Wednesday.  On Saturday, I saw Jenny and Abby parking Abby's car after acting. I had been out walking.  I was so dizzy it felt like I was walking on the moon, or jumping up and down on a very springy mattress.  Sunday, another episode hit while in full repose in Abby's car.   I was going to leave around 2. She went to see Eric the pinche motherfucker today and had therapy--which is 50 minutes, right?  Therapy started late.  12:43. She just texted me that she just finished therapy  and is on her way home.  I'm sure she was lying.