kvetching up

 Entry 1.   11:07 a.m. Apparently, Picozzi extended Jenny's stay a day after seeing her last night, and didn't tell her.  This annoys me. Not that they want to keep her, if she needs to be there, she should be there. But no one told her.  She will be disappointed if she isn't home today. If they do keep her, I will be glad. She needs to be able to eat, to get nutrition. The dietician's note says that Jenny is at high risk with severe acute malnutrition having lost more than 5% of her body weight in the last month.  Get her fed for chrissakes. Please, get her fed. Entry 2.   1:17 p.m. Special thanks to Cheryl Reid who suggested I check my heat pump before calling for it to be repaired.  She suggested I make sure the air intake is not blocked by snow.  I still have no clue where the air intake is, but I cleared the snow from the machine and now, after 3 days, the heat pump is producing heat again.   In less positive news, because...

Entry 1. 9:31 a.m. Jenny is still in bed, but has talked to Edit at VM. We should expect some calls today. The reason the block never really worked is because the pain is coming from the duodenum, and the pressure is on nerves not deadened by the plexus block.  So, that makes sense.  She can't up her dosage of oxycodone, but they will likely prescribe a fentanyl patch for her.  They also have scheduled the procedure (placing of the stent) for the 27th, but support her coming in on Sunday inpatient.  More as I learn new information. I have been up since 3:43 a.m. worried about the implications of chemo. She is getting a pill six days a week, an infusion one. But if she keeps nothing down, what use is a pill? When she empties the contents of her stomach--she empties the entire contents of her stomach.  With her cancer raging, what is the point of this chemotherapy if she will just throw it up? She will absorb enough to get the side effects maybe, but to do any goo...

This day was good.  And I am exhausted, but need to write this down against forgetting.  I'm negative. Covid-19 negative. I am sleeping downstairs for the time being using a chair, an ottoman and a table as a bed.  That is a story for another day, but just know I am.   I got up late this morning--well after 7--and after the perfunctory coffee, and some raisin toast, went upstairs and sat on the side of Jenny's bed and woke her up.  For reasons I can't A spinning gyre. explain, it made her day.  She was so pleased I had done this, she told me how lovely it was that I had done that.  My first thought was, I bet she wishes el pinché could do it instead. My second thought was, accept that she is happy and move on with the day, expecting a more pleasant few moments with her than last night's debacle. Jenny left around 9 to pick up meds and do whatever else was on her list, which was not short.  I don't know how she manages to function, when s...

 Entry 1     8:36 a.m.       Prompt We are going to get COVID-19 tests in a few minutes.  I am looking forward to getting the PCR test.

 Entry 1 We had 20 ppl over on Friday night for ny birthday, because I'm stupid. While I didn't organize the party, I was tickled it was happening, and certainly okayed it, when asked. Everyone was vaccinated who attended save Hanna, my 5 year old grand niece.  She and her Less than maximum exposure. parents were masked most of the night, the only ones to keep them on, save for eating. This morning my niece notified us that Hanna has tested positive for COVID. They had a PCR test done.  I am incredibly worried about possible exposure for Jenny and for me.  Not too worried about the teenagers, and am certain Hannalore will be fine. One more thing to worry about.  

 Well, Leiney and I got our second round of the Moderna mRNA COVID-19 vaccine yesterday at the Everett Clinic in Mill Creek. My injection hurt a great deal.  And today, my arm hurts at least as much as it hurt after receiving  the first dose in January. Otherwise, I don't have any symptoms, I don't think.  I am achy all over, but that may be from shoveling snow. She's Gone  Here is a pattern.  When Jenny feels good, she isn't here.  This morning she walked around Green Lake with Kathy Schmidt.  She came home for a bit, and I shaved her head and she cut my hair.  Then, she left for a massage at Marianne's and then Murray, Marianne and she were planning to have soup, presumably on Marianne's front porch.  I expect the rest of the week and next to repeat this pattern, as Jenny moves into the second week of a hiatus from chemo while she gets vaccinated. She will wait another two weeks before she again receives chemotherapy--Feb 25. Yesterday...

I hate snow I hate snow.  My mom certainly taught me that.  I didn't understand it until I started driving.  Even then, I loved snow, I just hated the driving.   When Jenny and I were first dating--during the massive blizzard of December 1990--I loved the snow. I remember walking in a literal blizzard with my BoSox hat on at 45th and Roosevelt. Near whiteout conditions, a gusting wind blew my hat into the intersection, and the wind chill keeping the temperature in the single digits didn't stop me from walking to a date at the Last Exit,to drink mocha floats and then later making snow angels, the two of us basking in the bloom of new love. That was then.  I have, upon reflection, hated the snow since the kids were little.  I hate the cold.  It just fucks with my life too much.   After my mom died, a snowstorm came which forced us to cancel her memorial service.  I had scheduled it to take place at a Unitarian Church in North Seattle...