kvetching up

 Entry 1    3:17 p.m. My family is coming to Sunday brunch every other week. Jane, Mike, Sarah and Hanna came today. Halloween is magic again with a 5 year old among us.  My sister and niece brought the entrees.  I went to Bakery Nouveau, yes there is one nearby, and got pastries.  Too. Many. Pastries. I am not sure if I am being callous, but with only adults at the table, I discussed the visit to the UW Liver Tumor Clinic with the assembled. I described them as saying they have nothing else to offer and noted they are much clearer about the state of Jenny's disease than VM. Jenny started sobbing. My sister asked, and rightly so, whether Jenny wants to know more clearly what is going on.  It's a fair question. I want her to understand. But, am I putting my needs in front of hers? She has been sobbing off and on ever since.

 Entry 1     7:48 p.m. The dogs generously let me sleep until 5:30 a.m., bless their waggity tails. I am finding Willow's barking, exacerbated by Buddy's amen corner yip yipping, particularly vexing this morning. Th ey make up for it by being so damned sweet and funny.  Today I will tackle the remaining 6 boxes or so in the garage.  I say this every weekend and hope to follow through today.   I hadn't thought of it until now, but it seems unlikely we will go to the Carpinito Brother's Halloween corn maze this year, the end of a tradition. It brings back this strong memory of my mother, weakened by the effects of chemo and suffering from neuropathy, sitting in her car and waiting, while we took a 5 year old Leiney and a wee Abby to a pumpkin patch and corn maze in Everett.  She was sick, forlorn, and devastatingly sad, waiting for us to finish the excursion. She wanted desperately to participate, cancer got in the way.  It is so vivid, un...