Dirty Laundry

Entry 1.    9:05 a.m.

This is a metaphor for my life right now:











Leiney kindly folded all the laundry now resting under the dogs. The entire rest of the sectional--unoccupied.

Entry 2 10:12 a.m.

I am soaking,Willow laying adjacent to me on the cool tile floor. Keeping a journal. . . cathartic. Reading old entries, inflaming at times.


We went Christmas shopping today. We filled our time talking about planning for Jenny's death. People drop dead all the time with no plan. This-the way we are planning- I understand as someone who knows a bit about estate planning is the preferable way to go, but hell's bells it is hard. I can offer no consolation, no meagre words can salve this gaping wound. 

We had lunch at a small Burien establishment. Jenny actually ate half a sandwich and a few fries. This picture of Jenny wearing the rings I bought her with the names of our girls engraved on them says more than I can about the difficult place we find ourselves. I can't believe this light is about to flicker out.

We went  to Hans' Deli to get stuff for advent and Christmas. All around us were things that reminded us of Omi. Jenny, buying candy and treats like her world is coming to an end, made the trip more sweet than bitter as she found joy in the candy of her youth--even if she can't eat it. She was a kid in a candy store with her own debit card and no mother keep her lust for chocolate and marzipan in check.





J







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