All Too Much

 Entry 1     9:20 a.m.

It's all too much for Jenny. It's all too much for the girls. It's all too much for me.

Jenny's abdominal pain has yet to go away completely, which was the promise of the procedure. She took her morning pain relief medicine, and the pain stopped, so that is some progress. But yesterday was incredibly hard for her. She really didn't move from the couch. Last night I drove Chris' family to the airport--Abby shuttling 2 of the 5 people in her car. The plan had been for Jenny to drive one of the cars. She was too weak. While we were taking the family to the airport, Jenny tried to get up from the couch to wash a mug. She was too winded to do it when she got to the sink. 

I made breakfast yesterday  morning for everyone, Jenny and a couple friends, Abby and I.  Jenny complained of being in pain still, and I made sure she got her medication. I suggested that by today the celiac plexus block procedure should work. I didn't really know, but was trying to ease her fears, to reduce the suffering. 

Abby and I went to the mall to Christmas shop. Abby needed to get something for Jenny.

While we were there, another family friend reached out to see if they could come over. She reported that her husband had been texting Jenny for a few days, and had gotten no response. This is becoming more common. Jenny's phone rings and she doesn't answer. A text comes in and she doesn't respond. She is overwhelmed with depression. I called Jenny to ask, and she agreed they could visit. When Abby and I got home, our friends were over. Jenny reported that as soon as they arrived she had vomited--which is not entirely normal, but not entirely unusual either, if that makes sense. 

Abby went downstairs and Jenny talked a lot about death and dying and the things she wanted to do before she passes. She was making ski plans with our friends. Inside I was crestfallen, but my exterior remained placid. She can barely walk the stairs, the idea she could ski is inconceivable. I am sure she knows this to be true, but can't let go.  Who could?  

It all feels quite bleak here at the moment. I am comforting Jenny as best I can. We are both nervous about the meeting with Dr. P tomorrow where we decide the next leg of the journey, but come what may, we will face it together. 

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Entry 2.    6:15 p.m.

Jenny drove to her acupuncturist's office today for treatment. Driving, in my estimation is dicey, given recent experiences, but I won't stop her. Driving was fine, but walking from the car to the office was difficult. She said that while she waited to be let in she was somewhat she doubled over and had to be helped into the office.

In much better news, she thinks the block is working. Fingers crossed.



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