What Is A 7 Letter Word For The Phrase. . .

"What The Actual Fuck?"

Entry 1    10:06 a.m.

I reached out to the care team over the weekend via email, given Jenny's current state of pain.  I want to stress, before I describe the latest event, that this suffering is happening to all of us, not just Jenny.  She is experiencing horrible pain and lethargy.  The kids and I are dealing with our inability to help, standing by helplessly watching as she doubles over in pain, crawls on all fours, begs for death.  Her lethargy makes it hard to plan anything.

So, at 10 AM, the nurse from the palliative care team calls in response to my e-mail.  They would like to see Jenny, they tell me.  I go to Jenny, who is just out of the shower and toweling off, and tell her they would like to see her at 12:30 or 1:30.  She, annoyed with me says, "I didn't know they were calling. " I remind her of the email I sent, and that she read.  She told me she has scrabble with friends today and can't go.  Again, she told me she has a Scrabble game with friends today, and cannot go address these issues.  

So, I tell the nurse, who is now annoyed, having heard the colloquy.  She offers tomorrow at 1:30.  Jenny, clearly exasperated, agrees but then says she doesn't know if tomorrow's dental appointment is in the morning or afternoon.  I suggest she meet with the palliative care doc via video-conference, and she sulkily agrees.

Am I missing something here, besides a vowel?  To be fair, these social interactions are what keep her going.  There is no doubt about that.  And two days before the Folfiri regime, she is super on edge.  But still, after the tough last several days, I was genuinely pleased palliative care would call, and equally surprised that she declined help.
Entry 2     1:58 p.m.

Triple Word Score

Despite the kindness she has shown me these last few days, and despite the pending house purchase, I can report that even as of today, her fantasy is to leave me for el pinché motherfucker.  This, as she sings my praises on social media, and tells tales of my patient kindness.  Also, the house we may get is near the water.  Why is that interesting?  Her fantasy, trust me I know, used to be living in a home on the water. It is now living in house, near the water.  I am walking into a buzz saw, but at least she makes sure I'm well oiled.

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