Entry 1. 9:47 a.m.
I didn't sleep well. Listening to a podcast on David Berkowitz can mess with your dreams. When I woke at 3:06 a.m., I was worried about Jenny and her pain. I stewed for quite some time before going to check on her.
She was ok, breathing seemed normal. But, I was worried. I stayed beside her until 6:30 when I had to tend to the muttlings.
Leiney came down soon thereafter and was lying on the couch, when Jenny appeared at the top of the landing and said her pain was worse. In fact, the pain was so bad she walked stooped over.
We are at VM. We have been here since 8. They saw her before 9, gave her some pain relief a.k.a. Dilaudid, and then ordered a CT. We have been waiting since. It's 10:20ish now. Jenny is in and out, the painkillers causing her to hallucinate."Honey, did I forget your birthday? I'm sorry." We just had this exchange:
Jenny: "I wonder if I can snore?"
Me: "I am positive you can snore."
Jenny: "I don't think I can."
The downside of waiting for Jenny coming back from the CT is sitting alone in the VM exam room. It is filthy. Dirt on the floor, a random spoon laying where the bed was. Simply gross. See if you can tell where the bed was:
The CT scan was amazingly fast. 30-45 minutes until we get the results. Its 10:37 now, I am predicting a noon departure, if not sooner.
Entry 2 1:34 p.m.
Home. Exhausted. I need sleep. Jenny is ok, just some inflammation likely caused by a bacterial infection. It will take a few days for the inflammation to go down. I am grateful it isn't a UTI, which was my fear. Having a UTI and receiving chemotherapy is a terrible combination. Jenny's only surviving friend with PDAC has had a UTI for the last 6 months, despite hardcore antibiotics. But the pain is terrible, nevertheless, the suffering real.
Entry 3 6:57 p.m.
Well, who knew reading the electronic medical record could be exciting? Jenny's CT scan, revealed which the doctor did not tell us, she has mild atelectasis in the base of both lungs. I don't know what the cause is, and aim to find out, but being diagnosed with 2 partially collapsed lungs sounds not so great. It can't be portentous can it, given her oxygen sats were normal and respirations as well? Nevertheless, the bottom of her lungs don't seem to be working right, which explains her struggle walking any distance. No evidence of air nor of fluid in the interstitial lining of her lungs or her abdomen. Presence of such fluid could explain it, which would be frighteningly bad. So, for the absence of air and ascites I am relieved. I just wish we could have discussed it today at hospital, rather than seeing it first in the medical record. It is possible, at least on the left lung, that her liver tumors are pushing against it. But they don't seem big enough to do that. Another possibility is the primary tumor is growing downward, and the organs below it are resistant and pushing back, causing all the organs to shift toward the lung. I am so out of my depth here. But, it is bothering me.
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