Teach Your Children Well

Jenny was away at a party from early afternoon well into the evening yesterday.  She spent time with Leiney and I when she got home, watching a television show. She was really on her phone about the entire time. She did eventually put the phone down. She was so spent after the long day, and especially since she is still hooked to the chemo pump, that she fell asleep holding the phone. We got her to bed, and Leiney and I hung out for a couple more hours watching television. Today, both girls were out--Abby had acting and Leiney worked.  Just after Abby got home, Jenny took a three hour nap.  Her chemo pump didn't come off until 5:30, and that along with poor sleep wiped her out. I woke her at 5.  She got up around 5:30 or so, giving her enough time to take the pump off before going to see The Eagles this evening with Jennifer, the same person whose party she attended yesterday. She did have lunch with Abby today, which isn't nothing.

Tonight, I took the girls to the movies. Leiney came and met us straight from work.  I write all this because I am trying to sort out how it is that Jenny doesn't budget much time for her kids. I think that I should plan things for us to do with the girls so that they spend real time with her while they can. 

I worry about them,  all three of them. But Jenny isn't reachable. Leiney comes home each weekend to work and see her mom.  She doesn't seem upset,  and knows how her mom is. Abby doesn't seem upset, but it's hard to gauge her emotions.

I am so worried about how the girls will feel when Jenny is gone and  worry there is little I can do. I also am haunted by the memory of my mother who didn't believe her mother, who was dead by the time I was 2, loved her and the anguish that caused. 

My children are my whole world. Jenny loves them very much too, I know she does. I hope against hope that they spend more time together while there is a chance--that she spends time with them only because the chemo has her debilitated.