Christmas Time Is Here

 Entry 1     6:11 a.m.

Dogs are whining. I'm drinking yesterday's coffee--still warm in the

Back when Buddy
 had a little
Marlon Brando flair.
decanter--trying to have a few moments of peace in the dark.  I love these dogs. Yesterday, wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, they slept until 8:20. It truly is the season of magic. They would have slept longer today if my bladder hadn't forced me out of bed after being awake for an hour fighting the urge to get up.

Christmas tree shopping today. This should be fun. I am sad Leiney won't be with us for the first time in 18 years, as we pick out a tree. She has to work. But the days of The Santa Train, Santa's lap and handwritten letters to Santa are consigned to the black hole of remembering now.

There is something powerful about being alone, awake in the wee small hours of the morning,

Crate mates.
sitting in the dark. I felt it as a kid, when I would go out each morning at 4 a.m. to deliver the PI and the Renton Record Chronicle. I had 4 routes, if you can believe that, and had to be done by 6 each morning. Anyway, being alone in the dark and quiet was scary sometimes, but with my dogs by my side, it became a contemplative time. I thought about music and girls, to be sure, no flashes of relativity brilliance, but still, it felt sacred when all you could hear was your own footfall and the sound of the wind lightly rustling the leaves of a laurel.

I look forward to having a tree and spending the day decorating. It will help keep our minds off the bleak situation in which we find ourselves.  

Apparently, unpacking continued apace after I retired for the evening. I am certain it will all be sorted today.


Entry 2    9:36 a.m.

Jenny said to me, the other day after her E.R. visit, that the tests showed she wasn't dehydrated--which is good news.  Then she said something that has been gnawing at me because I knew it might be important. Even though she was hydrated, her urine was very dark.   I ruminated on that report, thinking it could be important.  I found a possible and likely explanation which, if truth be told, I had known: "Sometimes, the first sign of jaundice is darker urine. As bilirubin levels in the blood increase, the urine becomes brown in color." I hope it means nothing. Please let it mean nothing.

Entry 3     2:46 p.m.

We finally got out of the house just after 12:30. Jenny had to rest after making her cookies. It's that bad.  And she was sitting the entire time. She rested on the couch for 15 minutes, and then made her way to the bed for another 30. Abby operate on Abby time, so we wouldn't have left on time anyway.  

We arrived at Carpinito Brothers in Kent. Jenny was too exhausted to go tree hunting, so the intrepid and very opinionated 16 year old and I went tree hunting while Jenny sat in the car. She is so fun to hang out with. We found a tree, more than 10 feet tall and very, if not perfectly, symmetrical. It's a fir, not the noble we typically get, but it just felt right.

On the way home, after a stop for drive-thru coffee (I had a lightly sweetened iced tea of all things) Jenny has stomach issues. This cancer sucks. I took the back roads home. The tree was sharing the rack with the roof-box, and while they attached the tree well, I was worried it might be a little hinckey driving on the freeway.   

When we arrived home, Jenny bee-lined to the couch, Abby close in tow.  Note our driveway has quite an incline, and the nose of the truck is pointing downhill. I was still outside, when Abby returned to help me with the tree. I retrieved a pocketknife and cut the plastic twine. The tree seemed still lodged to the Jeep. I went to the top of the tree and pulled. The tree didn't budge. I pulled harder and went ass over tea kettle, as the weight of the tree pushed me into a one handed half-round-off with a triple shot Smirnoff Martini landing.

The tree is in the garage now, and I am soaking my 55 year old ass in the tub. I landed on my tail bone.  My lower back is laughing at me almost as much as Abby did when I fell. She waited until she knew I was okay, and then practically burst a kidney laughing.  It was a pratfall. I can't begrudge the humor.

Entry 4    8:48 p.m.

Shocking that my back is killing me after my hijinx in the driveway. Abby and I got the rest of the decorations mostly sorted. Jenny didn't move from the sectional really. 

I reached out to my sister and brother-in-law to come over and help me with the tree. I rearranged the furniture with the help of my sister, and Mike and I got the tree up. It was pleasant while they were here, we ordered pizza and Mike, the girls and I watched But I'm A Cheerleader while Jenny and Jane visited in the kitchen. Abby snuggled with me much of the movie.

My sister left just as the movie was ending. Jenny went from gracious host to enraged without explanation. She found energy to take scardboard to the garage, and was pissed I hadn't done it. Words fail. I can always tell she is pissed because she will start asking me things, "Can you open the garage door for me," was one. She marched out to the garage with some cardboard and when she returned went into the kitchen and asked me, "Do you know why the macaroni and cheese is out?" An odd question. What reason could there be for a pan of macaroni and cheese to be out? Perhaps we are having a macaroni audit? A cheese inspection? Really, what she was asking was "Did you know the Mac and cheese was out, and if so, why haven't you put it away"? Mind you, she'd been in the kitchen with my sister for better than 1.5 hours, the pan sitting right where it was when she inquired of my knowledge of said pan. It's a tiresome old game. So, I answered no and said, "I am going upstairs to rest my back," and beat the retreat to my room.  I was in no mood for bickering, petty or not. And really, isn't all bickering petty? Why the modifier? It doesn't add anything, really. It feels redundant, but the number of times I have heard or read the phrase tells me we love the phrase for the sake of the phrase or we are just lazy, and don't realize we are making more work for ourselves.

She goes from gratitude to recrimination faster than a dog chases a three legged-cat. This too shall pass.  Most of my day was Christmas prep and cleaning up the Christmas prep, so I am happy I had a little joy to fill my day.

It is amazing how cathartic writing down the days events can be.

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