Well, I Went to the Doctor I Said, "I'm Feeling Kind of Rough"

He said, "Let me break it to you, son"
Your shit's fucked up."
I said, "My shit's fucked up?"
Well, I don't see how-"
He said, "The shit that used to work-
It won't work now."

--Warren Zevon

A Neurologist Walks into a Bar

The neurologist called today, early, as it turns out.  Two hours early.  I do love how COVID-19 has changed everything.  I'm used to an appointment starting about 30 minutes before the doctor actually shows up.  This is a follow up appt., after I visited urgent care two weeks ago, and my PCP some days later, to try to solve the dizziness crisis.  I should mention here, the dizziness and attendant nausea, while not completely abated, has signficantly--like 95 percent improved.  The tinnitus rages on. So proud my tinnitus, my own progeny, never lets anything stop him.  

"Did they talk to you about your vestibulary arteries at Urgent Care?" the doctor asks me.  I tell her no.  She asks if I know what the vestibular arteries are, and rather than answering that I am assuming they are the veins that line a vestibule, I again say no, because, well, I have no clue.  She prefaces her introductory anatomy lesson telling me that my bad cholesterol is ridiculously high, but that my LDL wasn't measured.  She gave me more bad news about my metabolic numbers.  Bless her heart. After her preferatory remarks, she went straight to the jugular.  Well, almost the jugular.  The arteries in the rear of my neck that feed blood to my brain "appear to be narrowing she says."  These are the vestibular arteries. I appear to be shitting my pants, I say to no one.  "I would like to do another scan--another angiogram--in 3 months to see if they continue to narrow.  Do you have a history of stroke in your family?"  I am so glad my doctor is interested in my family, I almost choke up.  I tell her, well, my mom had a series of TIAs.  My dad died of a massive stroke, but that was related to alcoholism.  My uncle died of heart disease.  So, no, not really, might sum it up, if I felt like hiding my head in the sand--which I do.  I say to her, I don't understand.  I have lost a lot of weight, I exercise regularly, like ridiculously at this point, often walking well more than 5 miles every day .  This baffles me.  She tells me, "its genetic."  As I am told my father used to say regularly, "Fucked by the fickle finger of fate." On a bright note, she did say that the dizziness isn't related to the narrowing.