Look With Curious Eyes On Your Raggedy Ways

 Entry 1.  5:55 a.m.

Something curious has happened since I went out into the mountains. My sleep pattern has changed.  A lot.  I am asleep, and I mean asleeeeep by 9:30 p.m. and up by 5 or 5:30. I'm not loving this, but am loving the relatively sound sleep. It beats insomnia, which has been a companion most of my adult life.  

My left knee is still not healed.  As a reminder, it wakes me up in the middle of the night to show me it can lock itself.  I will concede it can and does. This is excruciatingly apparent, when I move to straighten my leg.  The good news is, after between 2 and 5 minutes I succeed in unlocking the knee, and go straight back to sleep.  

The other knee, the one without a meniscus hurts all the time, and is popping.  Fun times in September (Also the title of my secret journal--if I had one).

Entry 2      3:28 p.m.

Jenny is uncomfortable, unhappy and super moody, almost impossible to be around today.  We unpacked most of the rest of our stuff for much of the day.  She was moody then, I wrote it off to her not feeling great.  I got the girls to come assist, and moved and unpacked 3 boxes leaving them all in the garage.  When I came back, it was only Jenny.  I asked where the girls were, and she said, "This is how it is." Ummmmm.   I went and roused Leiney from her room first, who informed me that Jenny had directed her to go unpack a big box. Granted, I suspect Leiney was dozing, but still.  Down she went.  I wen't and got Abby.  Before Abby got back to the garage, I was putting tools on a shelf, as Jenny and I discussed some moments before, and she got pissed that I was unloading tools and putting them where we agreed.  She stormed out. Leiney was baffled, Abby walked in, and the three of us did what needed to get done.  Then, we moved the 6 or 7 remaining boxes with stuff to one place, broke down the empties, and were done.  I came in, and Jenny went out to the garage. I came to grab something I had forgotten, and asked, why I don't know, "We got a lot done, right?"  She said, "You just moved the boxes from one place to another." Umm, we had emptied a dozen boxes, moved stuff to the storage room, put stuff in the Goodwill pile.  We had kicked ass.

Crows in the yard ar 6:30 a.m., apparently
getting their assignments for the day.
Rather than expressing my exasperation, I went and organized a closet.  Then I went and rested my knees.  They seem to be bothering me a bit, for reasons I can't explain.  .  .

After a break, I got up and showered. Jenny was sleeping in her bed.  When done, I roused her to go shopping.  I still had to dress. I came downstairs, and she is on the couch, glum. Depressed. Angry with me. I sat, adjusted my knee immobilizer, and waited for her to drop whatever emotional weight she was carrying.  Less than a minute later she says, "I wish I was dead right now. I'm tired of being lonely. I'm tired of being alone."    And so it goes.  .   .  Happy Sunday. I'd rather be hiking.


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