All That I've Got Is A Worried Mind

Entry 1     11:02 a.m.

Jenny and I are having pleasant mornings, before she leaves to spend time at TOPS each day, as she is doing today, and did yesterday as well, and the day before. The district said she can do this as much as she wants. If I were in HR, that would not be my position, but I do like to play by the rules. I have FLSA, ADA, and FMLA concerns, let alone Eric el pinché concerns.

This morning Jenny had to drive Abby to school--Abby's car is in the shop through today.  Abby learned that her car would be released on its own personal recognizance when she came up from her room. Already in an uncharacteristically good mood, she was ecstatic hearing the news.  In the car, with Jenny, I learned from a subsequent call, Abby and Jenny had a really good heart to heart.  Abby divulged some stuff that she is working through, and then, sua sponte, told Jenny she wants to be a camp counselor at Camp Dudley next year.  This, from a kid who has told us from the time she was 10 or 11, that she hated camp and didn't want to go again. Turns out, it was self-esteem issues

Some lame college in NYC that wishes it were NYU.

more than anything that has caused her to distance herself, and she is working through them to great effect. I am beyond relieved that she opened up to Jenny for the first time in years in a situation that wasn't fraught with emotion and drama.  This healing must progress for Abby to have a successful transition when this disease runs its course with Jenny.

Last night Abby, who is a straight A student without help from her parents, which she refuses and has always refused, gave us her list of colleges she wants to consider. Among them were the Seven Sisters.  A couple of west coast schools were also on the list.  The GET money, however, won't go far at the Seven Sisters.  If she gets into Smith or Vassar or Barnard, Wellesly, Mt. Holyoke etc., I will be thrilled for her, not so thrilled for the cost.  Abby will tour them in the spring, and Jenny, inshallah, will accompany her. 

I am buried in work. This is a good thing.  3 more days until Leiney officially leaves the nest. I am thrilled for her, and we are all going to miss her very much. But new horizons are waiting, and I am sure she will have a great time, with tons of friends, family, and family friends in Bellingham, she has a great safety net. On Sunday, her Amnesty Int'l crew is going to go to Bellingham so they can all go knock doors together. They love her. Who couldn't?

I'm happiest when I am asleep these days.  I am in that place where I want no more human contact.  I fear I am creating a hermitage, lost in my thoughts, feigning imperviousness to disappointment.  It's an ebb and flow, and the spigot is cranked up so high it would take a screwdriver to get the handle to turn the other way.  Goodnight.

Comments

  1. Cheryl RSSeptember 15, 2021 at 1:23 PM

    Oooh! It will be so worth it! And this schools often offer significant academic scholarships ! I believe in women's colleges... I have a friend locally who is a Wellesley grad if she has questions about that one in particular.

    ReplyDelete
  2. nigelSeptember 15, 2021 at 2:42 PM

    Cheryl, in triplicate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheryl RSSeptember 16, 2021 at 12:23 AM

      Apparently my phone really wanted you to get the message.

      Delete
  3. nigelSeptember 15, 2021 at 2:43 PM

    I should note, I am pulling for Barnard, despite my NYU Alumni status.

    ReplyDelete

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