The Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes

 Entry 1        9:13 a.m.

I woke after 7 to Jenny's text, an understandable refrain, "I don't want to die."  I wanted to get up and run to comfort her. Alas, my knees didn't.  When I finally got the gumption up to locomote, the dogs were stirring, and Jenny had to take them out for their morning constitutional around the yard.  

I am listening to Jenny on the phone with a newly diagnosed PDAC patient, who is a friend of a friend of her sister Moni. Jenny is the old hand, coaching her through the terrible realities that come with the diagnosis with insight, loving patience and compassion.  "I can't believe I have a friend who has the same thing as me," she says to a woman she has never met, with genuine joy in her voice.  This is the Jenny with whom I fell in love.  I can tell from the arc of the conversation, and the increasing laughter that, this woman who has never had chemo yet, is being greatly comforted.  I wish this is what Jenny's cancer coach was like.  Playing the role of Charon--I can't believe I would wish that on anyone. 

So glad my knees are tanned and rested, even if not ready for primetime.  Here I am with 55 lbs. of fun on my back, climbing to who the heck knows where:


Colonial Creek to Thunder Basin
Entry 2        12:40 p.m.

No trouble adjusting back to the real world, where running water comes out of a tap, and the only thing I have to worry about jumping out at me is our almost 5 month old puppy who might, at worst, lick me to death.  Also, when I am longing for coffee, it is a crawl away, so.  .  . not as different as I first thought.

Jenny's CA 19-9 responded well to the first round of this new chemo, dropping down to 28154.3 U/ml, a better than 5000 U/ml drop from the last measurement, and the first drop in months--since April 8.  Then she dropped about 100 U/ml, from approx. 3427 to 3354, about a 2 percent change, versus a 16.5% change last week.  Not too shabby. OTOH, its like dropping 700 feet down to 4600 feet, when you still have climbed 4000 feet overall to get there. 

Jenny's weight yesterday was 156 lbs.  1.5.6.   















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