Not Fade Away

Pollock
Over the months I have quite clearly fallen down on the job in chronicling this journey.  I am trying to do better.  For instance, since Jenny was diagnosed, we consulted both in person with the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance and over the phone with Memorial Sloan Kettering.  Each place told us there is nothing to be done other than the palliative care she is receiving.  We knew it was bad news at SCCA, when only a single doctor came to meet with us, where a team had been promised.  I imagine the rookie doctor gets the job of kissing off cancer patients that are determined to be well and truly fucked.  At the Sloan-Kettering phone conference, the doctor (we only expected one) was incredibly apologetic and sad for Jenny.  I found him lovely, but presume, given he was at least my age, that this work will destroy him, if it hasn't already. While irrational, I expect there may be attendant guilt with telling someone they are beyond rescue.


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