All You Wanna Do Is Talk Talk

 Entry 1     10:15 a.m.

This is the day of my first talk therapy session since Jenny's death. I don't know what to talk about. I can't figure out the appropriate way of existing in this new world. Last night I found a podcast to listen to for widowers. As soon as the narrator said his wife passed from pancreatic cancer, I turned the motherfucker off. I want to run. I know we just bought the house, but if it hits a million, which will happen this year barring an invasion by Russia of Ukraine and the attendant nuclear apocalypse, I may sell.

Sleep. It came late for me, rising was early. It's a pattern. Both girls are home, Abby trying to finish her history project for Running Start, Leiney existing, but just. I will get her out in the sun today.

One of my dearest friends, the best man in my wedding, Aimee came to visit last night. It all seemed so normal, except that Jenny is dead. Which means nothing is normal. I guess it's good that I am riding a downward wave on the oscillating ride of grief as I am about to Facetime my therapist.

In the world of retail therapy, I bought Leiney a barbell set at Costco yesterday. Tomorrow we complete the gym. I am hoping we can get the rest of the garage in order today. Weights, speed bag, punching bag, stationary cycle, treadmill, rowing machine, medicine balls. A big step, and I am sure other things. I am mounting the smaller television in the garage so Leiney, Abby and I can use it to do youtube workouts. It's a good project. I look forward to it.

Comments

  1. NicpalumboMarch 10, 2022 at 7:15 AM

    I’m proud of you, Geoff! You may not be able to recognize this right now, but you are so much stronger that you realize!! I’m so glad you were able to see Aimee. ❤️

    ReplyDelete

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