She's A BRCA House or Hope Rests On A Foundation of Sand; Beware Falling Shoes

Jenny had therapy with her cancer coach today.  As I have consistently noted, I find her coach to be a charlatan, but if Jenny finds solace there, its better than going to a faux shaman for gazillions and bajillions of dollars.  It is a lot of HR kind of positivity, which I hate--stuff that seems to come
out of a refugee Hallmark card content creator cum morning/afternoon talk show producer.  That said, I won't argue with the way meeting with this person helps Jenny gaze forward to a possible future, rather than being stuck in the present morass or looking back in disappointment and anger.  

Therapy was 12:30 to 1:30 today. At 12:34, I get a text from Jenny, revealing that her cancer coach was found to have had the BRCA gene when she was diagnosed.  BRCA is linked to ovarian, colon, breast and apparently pancreatic cancer. Jenny believes this changes everything with regard to her outlook. I've read a couple of journal articles about this, but before I offer details, let me say the cancer coach has survived Stage IV cancer for more than 20 years.  That is unheard of, it simply does not happen.  

Except it did.  While I concur with Jenny's sentiment that she has been placing all of her eggs in one basket, and that I don't believe anything the cancer coach is doing, EXCEPT for the assistance on keeping positive which is huge and meaningful, is otherwise utterly useless bunkum.  

While the above is true, it is also true that the BRCA gene cannot be identified as the thing that makes this work with the cancer coach all hokum.  In fact, as far as I can tell through free sources, the BRCA mutation link to pancreatic cancer was first identified, as far as I can tell, back in 2006, well after the cancer coach was diagnosed.  Moreover, the targeted treatment of tumors linked to BRCA, didn't start until the second half of the last decade, meaning the cancer coach's survival wasn't dependent on such treatment.  If BRCA was a more sustainable and survivable kind of cancer, there would be no dearth of BRCA websites praising the mutation for the one good thing it does.  No such websites exist, there are no studies online which set forth BRCA as an independent predictor of overall survival.  I would posit that the targeted treatments do extend life, but almost everyone with this cancer eventually (most sooner rather than later) die of this malady.  

I talked it through with Jenny.  She told me she thinks about it every day, and the sense of being overwhelmed and loss and feelings of being lost that it brings.  I told her I share those feelings every day over both this and the affair.  Why did I say that?  I did.  She said the same with her, and that she is sorry (she isn't--or if she is, not enough to get her to stop).  She said she wishes she would have just died three months after diagnosis, after I pointed out how successful she has been in beating the odds thus far.  I told her I am glad she is still here among us. We discussed how great it is that she is now rebuilding with Abby, and for that reason alone it is important for her to hang on for as long as possible. Today, Abby gave her a real hug for the first time in at least a year.  That IS something to celebrate.

If you can imagine yourself having conversations about dying and leaving your children who have not yet reached the age of majority behind, its time to do some introspection, and emergency planning.

I hate this suffering she is going through worse than my own, which seems paltry in comparison.

Everyday terror lurks behind the bushes, waiting to jump out, or so it seems.