And if I Could Be Who You Wanted All The Time
Act I She Lives With A Broken Man, A Cracked Polystyrene Man
I am exhausted. I slept well enough, but this marathon has too many intermittent sprints for my 54 year old body, and I have always been better at walking than running anyway.
It was a quiet house, especially conducive for getting work done. Abby doesn't have classes on Wednesday, and Leiney sleeps in a lot now that she is working everyday. Jenny sees Eric on Wednesdays. She doesn't tell me that anymore, she always has other things she tells me she is doing. But, she left wearing the Dallas Cowboys baseball hat just around 9 to have breakfast with a friend, and didn't finish breakfast until nearly one. At 11:48 I texted Jenny to let her know the groomer had called and that Buddy was ready to be picked up. Jenny maintained radio silence. Just before 1:00, she calls me, and without me asking, starts telling me how her lunch went long, how she just couldn't leave, blah, blah, blah. The over-explaining is such a tell, Anyway, she was on her way to get the dog, she told me, and traffic was terrible. I was going into a meeting, and didn't have the time, need or desire to challenge her narrative.
Jenny gets home just about 130. She had made an appt to take Leiney's car in for an estimate for repair--Leiney dented her bumper when she hit a parked car last week--for 1:30p.m. I'd have done it, but I was working and the only time the place is open is weekdays. Also, Jenny is functional right now. So, stressed, she rushes out again, takes the car for the estimate up near Northgate. She had a chiropractic appt immediately following the estimate. Rather than drive the few blocks to the chiropractor from the autobody shop, she came back home, switched cars, and rushed back up to Northgate.
I was sitting in a corner of the section and in a meeting when Jenny got home around 2:30 p.m. Abby had driven Leiney to work, so just the two of us were home. Jenny plops down at the other end of the couch. I am engaged in the meeting, when my phone rings as I finish my sentence to the group. Muting Microsoft Teams, I answer. Its Abby. She is a few blocks away, at Starbucks, and hit a car while parking. I do love variations on a theme. I ask her if everyone is okay, Abby says yes, I tell her I am in a meeting, but her mom will come, and hang up.
Jenny yells at me, as she is getting up to leave. Screams at me, furious I am having her go, when I could just leave my meeting and do it myself. She tells me she always has to do everything. I explain I am working, and this doesn't sound like an emergency that requires me to drop everything, and tell her I need to return to the meeting. She leaves, slamming the door.
Ultimately, the accident was no big deal. The person whose car was hit didn't even wait for insurance information and they came home. I saw Jenny, before coming in the house, laughing and regaling the neighbors with the story before she came inside. She offered no apology, but sat down on the couch and seemed fine.
I moved my work downstairs so Jenny could watch television, soon after Abby left for work study after 3. Jenny tells me she has cancelled her plans with Chris and her plans with Moni, because she just needs to "stay home and destress."
I finished my work just before 6, and came upstairs to find the television off, and Jenny lying on the sectional and on her phone. I sat on the far opposite end of the sectional and said we should figure out dinner. She said, "I'm not really hungry," so I fended for myself and returned to the couch. We sat in silence, a pregnant silence, as Jenny was glowering while looking at her phone. She studiously avoids eye contact when mad. About 6:15, Abby gets back from work study and goes to her study room. Jenny sits up, wearing her mad face and announces she is going to Murray's, as it is Wednesday night. That choice was fine with me. And she leaves. Abby, later describes the incident to me as, "It was quiet. Mom got mad. Mom left."
Act II A Green Plastic Watering Can
It is incredibly hard facing a terminal illness, I can barely imagine what is going through her head. I am at a point where I believe much of Jenny's frustration with me is misdirected anger, I am the safe available target in her eyes.
the game is afoot, the secret revealed, the real motivation for Jenny's anger uncovered. She, the person having the affair, checks our phone records daily to see with whom I am conversing. And now it appears, she believes she has uncovered a conspiracy.
For those just tuning in, Jane is my elder sister. Also, did I mention that I was heading out to pick up Leiney from work while this back and forth was taking place, after helping Abby figure out dinner?
This underscores the absurdity of my life. Please note, she never, or I should say almost never, apologizes for her behavior. I'd love help identifying the assumptions I am making that she refers to, also.
She did text me later, after 1045, telling me she was better. But she never apologized.
UPDATE: She offered a genuine apology this morning, which is lovely and amazing.








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