Bill of Goods

Tuesday

4:40 p.m.

I took leave yesterday at work. Two months and a day ago Jenny died, and I'm not buying the bill of goods that everything will be alright. Numb and depressed, I am getting help, but I am thinking about naming our abode Bleaker House. 

I am home alone mostly. Abby has acting after school each night until 11:30. Leiney is working or at her boyfriend's house. The dogs and I are keeping down the fort. I get texts and calls. I don't answer. Don't have it in me. I move about as much as a rock. I am battered and bent and, I guess, broken.

I got a doctor today, having changed my insurance means I had to find a doctor and that I have a wait to get a visit.  A long wait. Everything will be alright.

Entry 2.  3:40 a.m.

Not sleeping.  Grief.  Exhausted. Dogs need me in three hours. Sleep. Must sleep.

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