The Sun Also Reprises

Entry 1

If you are a friend or family member, you likely know I have dug in. Deep. This sun is helping, as will daylight savings time, I expect. Seasonal Affective Disorder is real. I also think living in this house, with all the painful memories, and sleeping inches from where Jenny died, both make depression more likely. Not that there aren't a lot of wonderful memories here. Okay, not so many. Leiney essentially moved out three weeks after Jenny died, for the most part, and completely a few months later. Abby was here longer, but spent much of her time teenagering and then went off to college. We had nice times here, when she was present. 

Which brings me to thinking of moving. Today, I met with a recruiter from PGE-Portland General Electric, they are looking for someone with extensive experience, to take the deputy role, and then to likely transition into the Director role. A ratepayer funded entity--the pay is fabulous and the work sounds interesting. The recruiter and I clicked. Hard to know if the guy I would be deputy to would click. As he is in India, it will be some time

Niagra Falls, 7.30.16

before we speak. Meanwhile, back at the farm, I am supposed to be going for a final interview next week at Hanford. Not South Hanford Street in Seattle, but Hanford as in the Tri-Cities, as in millions of gallons of radioactive waste stored in underground tanks.The job sounds interesting, and the pay is insane. OTOH, it's in the Tri-Cities.  So, there's that. Both of these entities reached out to me, both say I have the perfect resume. Believe me, given the blues I have been wrestling with, I wouldn't have had the gumption to do this on my own. But being courted, even if I am fucked in the end without consummating the job, is a good feeling.

Back in reality land, I have submitted an application for the job I am currently filling as a temp--which was a blessing to get when I quit Western Digital. I highly recommend quitting shitty jobs, btw, it is good for the soul. The internal politics and the unhappiness of the team (2 have quit, a third may in the next few weeks--on a team of 11), plus the $2k a

Leiney and Buddy, Ravenna 08.2016

month for COBRA--which is terrible WD health insurance, make this job especially distasteful. Given that it is far below my skill set, and that the perm job at the City wll pay between 100 and 120k less than these other jobs, before bonus, makes it seem like a no-brainer. It is complicated, more complicated than that, though. It always is.

Entry 2 9:09 P.M.

It's dark and quiet. I am about to go to sleep. I am finally finding all this isolation tiresome. I hope it isn't a passing phase. My chest hurts a lot lately, and I'm not sure when I am supposed to take nitroglycerin or go to the ER. It's fine tonight, but honestly, having a heart problem is not fun. Contemplating another heart attack, this time alone with the dog just doesn't sound like a picnic. 

I am going to keep a stiff upper lip and do what I can to get healthy. I am. I want to see Leiney and Abby graduate from college, that is the goal.