A Knife's Edge

Entry 1 5:50 a.m.

 A movable crop.

When a dog looks you in the eye and punches you with her paw, well, it's just the best. Sunday mornings are my favorite time. I get nostalgic. Today I am remembering driving around in the ridiculous convertible Camaro in California last Spring with the girls, going to In-and-Out burger, driving with Abby to Balboa Park and down to the Drive-In 10 minutes from the border with Mexico. Abby had a good time, in spite of being stuck with her dad, and I certainly made memories to last through my last days, or dementia, whichever comes first.

I am intending to do some yard work this morning. Last night Abby and I schlepped the bucket with the mammoth sunflowers in it over to the fence. This allows the giant flowers a place to lean. The planter, a large red bucket, can't hold the top heavy plants without listing, nor without falling over in a brisk wind. The stakes I planted in the dirt when the sunflowers were half this size have been outgrown, and I have no intent to go find 7 foot stakes, which may not even offer enough support anyway. They now lean, for their last few days of life, against a fence. Once they are done, not sure what I will do with the flowers, probably put them on the fence for the crows and other fauna.

Last night while laying in bed and ripping dvds for streaming, I extended my left arm to reach

Abby, Klimpt Exhibition, Paris 2018.

my laptop. A stabbing pain shot through my shoulder. So, the impingement or frozen shoulder that I thought had gone away on my left-side is still very much there, only to a lesser extent in my left shoulder versus my right. Last week, watching a doctor of physical therapy on the Youtubes, I learned what type of impingement I have in my right shoulder. I did all the range of motion tests and, damn me if I actually remember what it is called. I have Hawkins Kennedy shoulder impingement or just Hawkins Kennedy shoulder. I didn't test the left arm, but will go back and do it. It definitely isn't the same.

It's the stabbing, however transitory the nature of the disorder is, which is awful. All I can do is keep doing range of motion exercises and lifting weights and after a year or two it should be better. In the meantime, I can hone my swearing vocabulary. So, at least I have some self-improvement that will come out of this.

I am vaguely trying to re imagine life as an empty-nester widower. We will see.

Entry 2 9:43 a.m.

Imagine you just worked out, you went your hardest on the treadmill for an hour. You are dripping in sweat. You Go to take your t-shirt off, but your shoulders are so jacked-up you both can't lift your arms up completely nor maneuver your arms in any fashion without the feeling electricity is shooting into your shoulders. Some call that hell. I call it Sunday. I don't want anyone to misunderstand, it's painful, but not as painful as being forced to participate in the Electric Slide at a wedding reception. It makes me cringe, but then again not as much as walking into a bar and seeing a line up of people doing the "Boot Scoot Boogie." That should give you some perspective.

Enter this under things your doctor forgot to tell you: Jardiance, the latest drug I am using to help manage Type II Diabetes, works best if you are drinking 8 glasses or so of vodka water a day. It removes about 200 - 300 calories o2 sugar from your bloodstream, but needs the patient to drink lots and lots of water to do its work most effectively and efficiently. Bottoms up.