In the Pines

Arosa, 🇨🇭 Switzerland, 2018.
 How do you square claiming to follow moral and ethical behavior with supporting a friend who is cheating? How was it Jenny's friends held her blameless and legitimately expected me to suck it up and accept her rejection of the kids and betrayal of our relationship? I read their texts and emails with Jenny and was always baffled by this. One of these ppl was a school counselor, another two had  MSWs. I say this often, but Sara, Paul, Lisa, Cheryl, Ethan, Laurie, Ashley, and others kept me sane, were rationality defined. Had I only been reading the nonsense of Jenny's friends, I would have been lost to the madness.  They would tell each other that I was unreasonable, that I needed to get over it, that I needed to grow up and accept the behavior. They believed my refusal to do so was abusive. Part of this was, of course Jenny's seemed version of reality--i.e., she lied to them as easily as she exhaled, but it was also this concept that whatever she wanted she should have. For some, this was the belief before diagnosis. Jennifer Murray, who hosted the trysts and the tête-à-têtes, Sheila Capestany who provided encouragement and cover for the Vegas trip to me are ciphers-people I thought were decent, but who turned out to be completely morally bankrupt, with the moral rectitude of a kumquat. 

My favorite psychologist who is also a professor at UCLA posted this today--and it just nails the issue and helped me understand this phenomenal. I thought I'd share it here for you to consider.



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