kvetching up

Entry 1 Soooo, I have been in a hotel for 11 days. I am going with Abby to her sleep study tonight, and then tomorrow will begin staying for a month at an airbnb at 65th and 35th.  Jenny still refuses to stop seeing  Eric  the pinché motherfucker.  I finally realized this means she has chosen him over me.  I'm a bit thick at times, and more of an optimist/idealist than I realized. I have been coming home each day to care for Jenny, and will continue to do so. She is angry whenever I leave. I can't take her anger, the constant texting, the sneaking off and the overt time spent with el pinche rather than with the kids or me. The kids seem to be doing ok, they still see me every day and that will continue.  I apologized again to Leiney for moving out, and she assured me that she doesn't think this is my fault.  Abby is a cipher. Sadness comes in waves, sneaks in when I least expect it.  If home with the girls, sans Jenny, I am content.  Given th...

How I deal with the stress of Jenny's terminal illness and ongoing affair:   Note, the affair started in 2018, according to Jenny's revised timeline.  Who fucking knows?  I just want to document this, against forgetting.

My Therapist's Reaction To My Life  January 29, 2021.

My so called life.  1.2020    

Jan 20 2021 Family Meeting  JANUARY 20, 2021 How was the party?    9:46 AM I am at a hotel, hanging with Abby. Jenny called a family meeting, earlier today after I returned from the hotel. She told the kids the marriage was broken long before Eric. Also, she barely sees him. I said that I would contest that. That I thought things were getting better, we had been looking for a house (even if true, doesnt justify aggressively lying to me) and the kids and I thought things had improved. I said i am leaving because of Eric the pinché motherfucker. She then, for whatever reason, started telling the kids she only learned in sept that i had sex with sonia multiple times. The kids made her stop. It was despicable. She just kept on going, saying she doesnt know if she has 1, 2, 3 or six months, so she has to make the most of it. Began to explain this is why she is out with friends all the time. Leiney told her she was mad at her. She said it seems like whenever she feels well, s...

Jenny text from Dec 9, 2020. Angry with me because I won't accept that she is seeing  Eric el pinché motherfucker.  She had driven off under on the influence of Xanax, THC AND Rick Simpson oil.  She eventually came home.